Eden Chen

Happy 7th Anniversary

Eden Chen July 13, 2020

Happy 7th Anniversary Carolyn!

There’s a term out there called the 7 year itch which basically says that your 7th year of marriage is the hardest and that most marriages on average survive around 7 years.

I’m not quite sure if celebrating our 7th anniversary means we just finished 7 years (yay!) or if we’re going into 7 (oh no!)… But let’s just say we beat the odds already! Marriage is always hard, 7 years of marriage is really hard, add 2 children on top of that and mix in some covid quarantine and you have a recipe for disaster (supposedly the divorce rate spiked in China after quarantine ended).

I’m thankful that despite all of this, I am more fond and thankful for you than I ever have been. I thank God for you every day on my prayer walks. I have a wife that loves God, loves me, loves her children, loves people. I can laugh with you, you are beautiful, we enjoy food together, you’re constantly trying to grow as a wife and mom, you listen to my rants and complaints day in and day out (sometimes you fall asleep during them but most of the time you listen…), and even though I think we’re one disaster away from the world ending, I’m having a good time with you.

I’d like to bring to light this one thing on year 7. You do things with great balance. Sounds easy, but it’s not. In a relationship, we are always trying to find balance. How do I challenge this person I love without nagging? How much do we explore new things versus rest and create healthy rhythms? When to cook versus when to eat out? How many episodes of this TV show is too many? When to splurge and when is it too much? The lack of balance is where poison seeps into so many relationships – you know me better every year and have found a better balance every year despite all the craziness above.

I can’t help on our anniversary but think to our wedding day (that is after all what an anniversary is commemorating). This still remains to be the greatest day of my life. All the things that we did and planned for are an example of the balance above – we wanted the sermon to be as long as possible, and the food to be as cheap as possible. Paramount Ranch, may it rest in peace (it burned down last year in the CA fires) will forever be in my memory. Despite the friends, the family, the dancing, the amazing speeches, and sermons – the greatest part of that day is when we drove out from the venue, just us in our car, back to our home. I’m amazed to say that 7 years later (and one pandemic) my favorite moments of the day look largely the same.

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